Donald Trump’s “Major Announcement”: Urging Followers to Spend $99 on Badly Photoshopped NFTs of His Face
Earlier this week, Donald Trump took to Truth Social tease the news that he would be making a “MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT” on Thursday. Given that he already announced last month that he will be running for president for a third time, it was difficult to imagine what this new all-caps reveal could possibly be about. Would he be letting people know that after giving it a lot of time and thought, he’d come to the realization that his time in office was net negative on humanity, and that he would be both suspending his campaign and retreating to an out-of-the-spotlight life in the country? That he was ready to take responsibility for January 6 and whatever legal repercussions that come with doing so? That he’d been quietly volunteering at a local soup kitchen since leaving the White House and it had really opened his eyes to how the other half lives, and also taught him that small acts of kindness can have big impacts? It will undoubtedly shock you to hear that the answer was “none of the above.”
Instead, the ex-president and world-renowned grifter used Thursday to unveil…a set of NFTs featuring his face not at all convincingly photoshopped onto other people’s bodies. Each digital trading card goes for $99 and, as politics reporter Will Sommer put it, the non-fungible tokens for sale “are ugly even by the usual NFT standards.” One of them depicts him as an astronaut. Another, as a sheriff. In perhaps the most cringeworthy one, he is ripping his shirt off, Superman-style, to reveal a six-pack. Included with every purchase is the chance to win a variety of prizes, from dinner with Trump to a personal Zoom call to an hour of golf. (For extra authenticity, we assume he will cheat.) Buy 45 of these “digital trading cards” and you’re “guaranteed a ticket to a dinner with the president,” where he’ll no doubt serve his guests only the finest food money can buy.
Naturally, the former POTUS—who used his presidency to help line his family’s pockets—does not mention that the NFT market has fallen off a cliff. Nor does he remind people that Melania Trump—who got in on the NFT grift almost exactly a year ago—ended up reportedly having to buy her own portrait.
Hilariously, per The New York Times’ Maggie Haberman, some Republicans and Democrats earnestly thought this announcement would be about Trump’s campaign, or Kevin McCarthy’s bid for Speaker, only to see the former president deliver an infomercial on cartoon drawings of himself with lasers shooting out of his eyes. According to the Daily Beast, while some people in Trumpworld appear to understand how embarrassing all of this is, others insist this is the coolest thing a politician has ever done. One source—and we’re not definitively saying this was Don Jr. but it sure sounds like something he would say!—called the cards ”badass.”
Meanwhile, in reality, even the Biden White House has gotten in on the mockery:
Area Republican claims Trump’s NFT offerings underscore his famously “huge sense of humor”
GOP lawmaker has non-racist reason for not letting Puerto Rico become the 51st state
No, just kidding, of course it’s racist.